In All Its Forms

Dear Dog Owner,

Hi. It’s me…KEN. So, you own a dog. That’s cool. And I guess owning that dog involved a series of steps, one of which was making the decision to obtain a dog, or at least making a decision to retain a dog upon one being thrust upon you. And at some point prior to making that decision I assume there was at least one step where you weighed the benefits and responsibilities of dog ownership.

Unfortunately, it seems like maybe you didn’t quite weigh the responsibilities of owning a dog in a dense urban environment as much as you should have. I mean, listen, I get it…it’s not like walking around with dog feces in a plastic bag is my idea of a good time either. And, really, I appreciate that you actually picked up your dog’s doo. But while it may take a village to raise a child, it only takes you to take care of your dog…and just because my garbage can is closer to where your dog s**t than yours is, it’s still my garbage can, and I don’t appreciate you throwing your dog’s crap in it.

There’s nothing special about you, buddy. You don’t want to carry poop around? Fine…then I guess you’re not up for dog ownership. That’s the deal.

Sincerely,

KEN

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