Miss Piggy Lunchbox

First, I’d like to announce I’m moving back to Minneapolis.  Here’s why:

Yeah, that’s right, King Buzzo, lead singer of my fave band, Melvins, was tending bar and selling a limited edition 7″ in my hometown this weekend before doing a show at a bar they play all the time.  Oh, and guess where I was?  I was in Minneapolis at the office holiday party, unable to break away for the 10 minute drive to the show.  Biggest.  Cock tease.  Ever.

Here is the band’s modification of the Grumpy’s logo.

I want that shirt for Christmas.  If I don’t get at least one I’m going to pee in your bed (yes, yours).  Unless it’s also my bed, in which case I’ll put a spider in your bed.  I can’t figure out how to buy them from the post announcing their existence, but still, peeing your bed.

Now, this all happened only a few months after the band released a 3-CD box set named Melvins vs. Minneapolis featuring ten concerts (the third disc is an MP3 disc) all recorded in the Twin Cities.  I found out about it after the 666 copies were sold out and had to get it on eBay (review on the way) as soon as I was treated for the priapism from which I was suffering as a result of the news that there were 666 copies of a box set titled Melvins vs. Minneapolis.

Finally, it’s hard for me to imagine anything that would be cooler than young children and a goat puppet rocking out to Melvins.  Sure enough, there’s not.  I checked.  This is the Greatest Thing Ever.

The entire vid, which features the passive-aggressive goat challenging Melvins to karaoke, is hilarious, but if you just can’t bring yourself to give five more minutes to spiritually bonding with MPL today, at least make sure you watch the stretch where the kids rock out while Melvins play from 2:55 to 5:00.  There’s more gold in those two minutes than is in Fort Knox.

For all this, I’m granting Melvins their own category.  Seriously, guys, I’d like to see your favorite band have a year like that.  Suck it, not-Melvins.