Miss Piggy Lunchbox

I walk past this on my walk home from the bus stop.

Now I can’t get “Jungle Vacuum” sung to the tune of “Jungle Boogie” out of my head.  You’re welcome.

God I am spent.

Seems like Friday’s becoming News-Goes-Onion day on MPL, as here’s another actual news article that I swear could have been taken straight from The Onion.

China manufacturers lace children’s toys with liquid ecstasy

A recent discovery reveals that toys called “Aqua Dots” are coated with a chemical similar to liquid ectasy. When children eat the Aqua Dots (which they’re not supposed to do, but they’re children, after all), they go into an ectasy-induced coma.

I know this is actually a terrible, terrible thing, but in the abstract, where no children are actually being hurt, this is f’ing hilarious.

But wait, we’ve read this book before….

All this follows the recent, astonishing announcement by Nancy Nord of the U.S. government’s Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) that there’s really no need to enhance the safety monitoring of consumer products in the United States. Under orders from the White House, Nord insisted that the CPSC didn’t need any increase in funding, and that businesses should essentially remain unregulated. Nancy Nord, who is now widely regarded as a pro-business Bush puppet, jetted around the world on trips paid for by some of the very same wealthy corporations who don’t want consumer product safety regulations.

And now I feel like an idiot for getting this far into this post…I should have known from the author’s bizarre pic and the jarring anti-China rhetoric up front, but near the bottom this article fully reveals itself to be written by a cult member.

There’s only one person in the running for the next presidential election who even has a shot at reversing this, and that’s Ron Paul.

Followed by this contradictory and unsubstantiated remark….

It’s not clear what a Ron Paul presidency would do for consumer protection against Chinese-made imports, but it’s crystal clear that U.S. consumers would be freer, wealthier and healthier under Ron Paul’s policies than those of any other potential presidential candidate.

Yeah, crystal clear.  So now I’m back to thinking the whole thing is completely f’ing hilarious.  In fact, I think Obama and McCain both support heavy Chinese ecstasy use by babies.  What do we want?  Babies doing ecstasy!  When do we want it?  At tonight’s rave!

Don’t put babies in this shredder.

(I swear I’m working on the SP20 recap.  Really.  It’s just taking forever.)

The Dodgers have a shortstop from Korea. His name is Chin-lung Hu. His last name is pronounced, at least on the telecasts I’ve seen, exactly the same as the English word “who.” So when he reaches first base as a baserunner, you can say “Hu’s on First.” This is always funny.

Many of you have already seen this, because I’ve done an awful job of keeping my inbox clean lately. (God, e-mail fills me with rage lately.) But anyway, here’s Josh, of Loin Groove and Woodpecker! fame, starring in a short that appeared in the International Pancake Film Festival (that sounds awesome!) last weekend (or Friday or something…I’m totally burned out.) This is NSFW.

Then there’s this, which features Woodpecker! and their song “Nothing Gets Chicks Hot Like A Guy Who Cares A Lot.”

Via Mind Hacks is this hilarious post written by Cookie Monster, where he struggles with his cookie habit.  As somebody who sometimes gets a little too passionate about his passions, I can certainly relate.  Replace cookies with CDs and you’ve got KEN.

Here are a few excerpts.

When me get back to apartment, after cookie binge, me can’t stand looking in mirror—fur matted with chocolate-chip smears and infested with crumbs.[...]

Me know there something wrong with me, but who in Sesame Street doesn’t suffer from mental disease or psychological disorder? They don’t call the vampire with math fetish monster, and me pretty sure he undead and drinks blood.[...]

Me no have unhealthy obsession. Me love cookies, but it no hurt anyone. Me just enthusiast. Everyone has something they like most, something they get excited about. Why not me? Me perfectly normal. Me like cookies. So what? Cookies delicious. Cookies do not make one monster. Everyone loves cookies.

We had a group brainstorming session at school yesterday, to help us undecided students come up with Master’s thesis topics.   I get the impression that a very common occurrence at this point is to winnow a student’s original idea down to something manageable.

To that end, one person told us, “If it seems interesting, it’s too big.”  I think that should be on the promotional collateral, don’t you?

Via Surviving Grady, of all places, comes this hilarious nature video.

I love how it goes down whole and keeps fighting in its throat.

As long as the media is going to completely ignore the historic violation of law by your president and the fact that John McCain is a raging, lying hypocrite, I’d like more of this awesome beast munching and less of every single person kicked off of American Idol, please.

You know I love me some Daily Dinosaur Comics. And T-Rex is a wise, wise man. Last week he had some brilliant insight into programming.

Um, APPARENTLY, programming is for folks who are thrilled when a computer reminds them they’re missing a bracket or a semicolon?

I’ve never felt more like a programmer.